Denver: If you’re planning a trip to the mile high city, you’d better take it easy on the helium. That’s the gist of the message released earlier today from the Denver Chamber of Commerce. Students living and vacationing in the area frequently enjoy inhaling or “huffing” the gas, which in even small doses causes the vocal cords to constrict, causing a high-pitched, “munchkin-esque” vocal quality.
“It’s all fun to make your voice all freakish and so on,” Said a member of the Denver Chamber. “But if you huff too much of that garbage you’ll inflate yourself and just float away.”
Seems like a far-fetched idea, but several college students did just that recently as they huffed “enough helium to choke a donkey.” The students’ heads inflated and two of them briefly left the ground as they cried out in voices so high-pitched only local dogs responded.
“It was a lucky break I had my pellet pistol.” said Peace Officer Jacob Banger. “While I mighta discharged my pistol-taser four times before I realized it wasn’t the pellet pistol, a couple well-placed pellets saved the day without really hurting anybody.”
A small child inadvertently jolted with 10,000 volts from an errant taser discharge, was treated and released from Denver Mercy hospital.