KAUZ (Wichita Falls): “Body Found in Wall of Yale University Building Could be Missing Student.”
WTF: How many fucking bodies do the Kansans believe are inside the walls of Yale? Do you think these flatlanders picture detectives running through the college with box cutters slicing through walls and checking the bodies as they fall?! “Nope, not that one.” “Nope, she’s Japanese, not Filipino.” “Nope, nope… ok we’ll go back to that one.” “Nope…”
Really. WTF?
New York: A security guard at the George Washington Bridge, which connects New York City and New Jersey, was caught sleeping on the job, according to the Cliffview Pilot.
WTF: ATTENTION HOMELAND SECURITY!!!! Aww fuck it, nevermind… we’re screwed.
Microsoft founder Bill Gates has turned his attention to controlling the weather. Five U.S. Patent and Trade Office patent applications, made public on July 9, propose slowing hurricanes by pumping cold, deep-ocean water in their paths from barges.
WTF! Would somebody please tell the God of shitty software that he’s not actually GOD?!
Oxford, FLA: The mother of a 2-year-old girl who was strangled by a python, along with the mother’s boyfriend who owned the snake, were arrested Monday in connection with the girl’s death, according to Sumter County sheriff’s officials.
WTF! Lesson #1 in parenting. No matter how hard the trailer’s rocking next door, no matter how few minutes it takes to get to the Quickee Mart for one more six pack, no matter how much you think Lerlene needs to take that job at the massage parlor… Never, EVER leave the kid alone with the snake!