Archive for August, 2009

Error in Judgement Becomes Major Opportunity

Monday, August 31st, 2009
peeweebrown

Chris Brown's highly publicized assault case could lead to the revitalization of a major children's television show.

Since the highly publicized assault of his former girlfriend, Pop Sensation Rihanna, Chris Brown’s career has taken a full-spin spiral toward the earth and it looked like the free-fall might be the end of him.  The end that is until Brown met an old friend, Paul Rubin.

Rubin, who has had some legal and ethical troubles of his own, is no longer able to continue his award winning Children’s show, “Pee Wee’s Playhouse,” but after seeing Brown’s get-up on CNN’s Larry King Live over the weekend, Rubin discovered that the premature ending of his hit show maybe wasn’t a guarantee after all.

Rubin and Brown have held ‘substantive talks’ over the last two days with Rubin saying privately that some ‘significant progress has been made toward revitalizing the Playhouse.

Keep your browser tuned here for all the latest news on this exciting hollywood match-made-in-heaven!

More Evidence Jackson Lives!

Monday, August 31st, 2009
This photo clearly shows Michael Jackson among the attendees at the recent funeral of Senator Ted Kennedy.  Several witnesses came forward stating Jackson showed up at the graveside service thinly disguised as a woman.  This is the only known picture showing Jackson among the mourners.

This photo clearly shows Michael Jackson among the attendees at the recent funeral of Senator Ted Kennedy. Several witnesses came forward stating Jackson showed up at the graveside service thinly disguised as a woman. This is the only known picture showing Jackson among the mourners.

Arlington, VA:  More evidence surfaced over the weekend that Michael Jackson’s death may in fact be a sham.  First was the cell phone video that surfaced Friday on Youtube.  This video, clearly showing Jackson hopping out of the Coroner’s van at the Los Angeles County morgue went viral instantly, with millions of views world-wide and a dubious yet open-minded following that grew by the minute.  Grew that is, until the ‘news’ broke that the video might be a scam.  Ambienista.com reporters have discovered that the so-called German debunkers were none other than Oswald & Murphy, the publicity firm strongly believed to have assisted Jackson in staging his own death.

Saturday brought even more evidence that Jackson is still among us as dozens of mourners attending the grave-side service for Senator Ted Kennedy at Arlington National Cemetery reported a ‘thinly disguised woman in a Catholic School outfit’.  Only one photo of this mysterious  mourner has surfaced.  The photograph, presented exclusively to Ambienista.com, clearly shows a character meeting the description above.  Digital enhancement of the ‘woman’s’ face shows it to indeed be Michael Jackson.

“Everyone knows Michael was an ardent supporter of Senator Kennedy.”  An anonymous Kennedy friend stated this morning.  “If he faked his own death, it’s surprising he would pick this funeral to show himself, but we know Teddy would appreciate the fact Jacko made it to the funeral service.”

Ambienista.com will continue to closely follow this breaking news and, as always, bring it to you first!

Woods wishes Asians would “Just shut up.”

Sunday, August 30th, 2009
Tiger Woods, recently beaten by Korean Yang Yong-eun, was overheard muttering that he wished the Asians would just shut up and stop being such sore winners.  Independent sources were unable to verify these comments.

Tiger Woods, recently beaten by Korean Yang Yong-eun, was overheard muttering that he wished the Asians would just shut up and stop being such sore winners. Independent sources were unable to verify these comments.

Should we call her Andy Coulter?

Sunday, August 30th, 2009

coulterAnn Coulter, the Conservative movement’s one shot at centerfold wet dream, may be a dude.  If you look at that Adam’s apple, those incredibly large hands… you have to wonder.

Was she born Andrew Coulter?

Top 5 Things NOT Allowed in the O’Malley Bedroom

Sunday, August 30th, 2009
Heather O'Malley finally put a stop to her husband's unusual amorous advances.

Heather O'Malley finally put a stop to her husband's unusual amorous advances.

  1. Hamsters
  2. Mexican Jumping Beans
  3. Tri-dos (three headed vibrating phalic devices)
  4. The “hot girl from Stop-n-Shop”
  5. Midgets